trucker ape

challenge me

this game, so timidly played, is beginning to grate.
be honest about your intentions!
go forth with all of your might!
we wait, and we shuffle our feet and twiddle our thumbs
and then the moment is past! it's too late.
no one expects you to be completely sure.
but if the mood strikes, pounce!
don't let it pass you by.
we live our lives in missed opportunities.
in delays and waiting for the "right" time.
but the right time is usually now
and will expire almost immediately.
and your only reward will be regret.

this is to myself as much as anyone else.
trucker ape

some of my favorite things right now

whiskey and wonderfully-made whiskey drinks

cold beer outside on a warm day

biking to new places, usually far

biking in general

the sun!

the amazing portland food scene

meeting all kinds of new people!

figuring out how to live fairly comfortably on a reduced income

life, in general

fuck, fuck, fuck!

haha, it's awesome!
  • Current Music
    panic in detroit
trucker ape

mrusic

so i'm sure this is nothing new, but it's goddamn motherfucking holycocktastical good!

half asleep


segundoly, if you would like me to send you a REAL LIVE letter, send me your address at blurredline @ gmail. it will be exciting to learn what it's like to lick a stamp again.
trucker ape

(no subject)

hahahahaha hey

so i'm moving towards life, all the time it seems.
i thought i was cool when i was 23.
personal/solitary energetic bursts don't make you a person though.
sometimes it's really simple things like:

staring you in the eyes
getting up on the stage and dancing
BEINGSOHONEST
dreaming with eyes open.

i really think the blurring of dreams and reality is important.
it proves to you that life doesn't have to be different.

i have nothing else to say!
trucker ape

also!

to all the portland people, there is a party next week and you should come! get back to me if you want to go and i'll provide the details.
trucker ape

boring and real life, etc.

before i moved to portland, i would've never imagined that any time in the near future i'd be out at a dance night, actually dancing. i would've especially never imagined that i'd be out at a gay dance night, dancing, and having an awesome time to boot. it was geared more towards women than men, and there were initially only 2 or 3 other guys there (and by the end of the night probably only totaled 15 or so) but i didn't feel intimidated at all. i just felt safe since i didn't have to worry about being hit on.

also, i've gotten really drunk at least 3 times in the last week and a half, and each time i wake up the next day, sometimes with not a lot of sleep, i feel like i'm going to get a hangover...and then don't! the first time it happened, i actually did wake up with a massive headache. and then i remembered how in the dream i had just had, my head hadn't hurt at all. so i said to myself that if my head didn't hurt in the dream, there was no reason it had to hurt now, awake. i then laid in bed for about 10 minutes before getting up and getting ready for the day. it was only after i'd been up for 10-15 minutes that i realized that i hadn't had a headache at all from the moment i got up. since then, i wake up and feel like i'm going to have a major headache if i get out of bed and start doing things, but nothing ever happens. thanks brain!

oh, and i bought my first whole fish today without being totally sure how to prepare it. but i did, and it was some really amazingly awesome fish! and i took pictures, and that's all you're really interested in anyway INTERNET-AGE YOUTH, so here they are (ignore the odd face in the 2nd photo):

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trucker ape

maraschino cherries : a metaphor

"The familiar 'maraschino' cherry originated several centuries ago in northeastern Italy and the neighboring Balkans, where the local marasca cherry was preserved in its own liqueur for winter eating. in the modern industrial version, light-fleshed varieties are bleached with sulfur dioxide and stored in brine until needed, then infused with sugar syrup, dyed cherry red, flavored with almond extract, and pasteurized. after all that, what's left of the original cherry is mainly its skeleton, the cell walls and skin."
trucker ape

(no subject)

it was right before some kind of convocation. i didn't see my friends often, so opportunities like these allowed me to do so, and we gathered into a group and were about to take our seats when one of them, shaun, or maybe sean, asked me a question. it was unbelievable the way he asked me the question. this kid, who had shown me how if you formed a wrigley's gum wrapper to fit into an electrical socket, it would create a big spark (and sometimes short out). this kid, who was short, but liked to act tough, and sometimes genuinely seemed to have a tendency towards violence. this kid, whose house i had stayed over many times several summers ago and who, one would think, would respect such a thing or think it was cool. he asked me, "so i heard something like, you cut your wrists open and used the blood to write some chick notes?" he asked me the question as if it was a really fucked up thing to have done. i guess the mood had changed. i don't remember how i assented.

i didn't so much fall into that group of friends as i did willingly place myself amongst them. one of them lived near me, and one day i saw him and a friend of his walking home. i approached them and pretended that i couldn't go home and really needed a place to hang out. they didn't care, so i hung out with them that day. from then on, i was friends with them, and many of their friends.

from these friends, i learned about illegal fireworks, stolen money, cigarettes, and porn. it was the largest group of friends i've had to this day, maybe the only one actually. and because i lived so close to the school, and because i had a sega genesis, my house became the cool place to hang out. i remember one day, it was like a day party, with so many people that there wasn't a lot of space. people i'd never seen were there, asking "so who lives here anyway?" it felt pretty good.

moon rd.